My Inner Stripper

     So, it's that time again.  It all started 2 days before my surgery trip. My sister actually convinced me to do it.  "Take a nekkid picture!" she advised.(well, mostly naked.)  The hardest thing I have ever done, really.  I hated taking off my clothes when it was just me in the room with a waiting shower. Imagining doing this with another person, let alone another person armed with a camera, seemed ludicrous!  But I did it.  I am sooooo grateful to her for holding my hand through the process. 
     Now I try and take a new picture every 3 months or so.  The first picture I burned to disk (wishing I could actually BURN the disk, lol) and then erased all evidence from both camera and computer.  I then threw the disk up into a cupboard and didn't look at it for three months!  I couldn't face it.  I couldn't see what my body had become while I had spent years ignoring it's needs. So that was December.  By the time March rolled around, I knew I had to endure it again.  I called her and begged her to come and photograph my loveliness once more. It had to be her.  I didn't trust anyone else yet. But you know what?  It was so much BETTER!     
     As I dropped the robe, her squeals of "OMG!!!  You look so DIFFERENT!" were wonderful.  I was still a large gal, but her support meant the world to me.  It instilled the confidence I needed to not only look at the picture she originally took, but to also look at the one she took that day, on that day. Looking at the progress I had made was the greatest feeling.
    
     And so, as I said...it is that time again.  The differences at this point are not as great.  Now it's more a show of how my skin is handling the changes, rather than my body changing size or shape.  That is somewhat discouraging. There was a tipping point some while back in that regard.  I remember thinking "WTF!  I look TERRIBLE, not BETTER!".  But I didn't .  I just looked kind of deflated. I guess that's what happens when your body loses enough weight that you could have created an entire adult with what it has lost, lol.
     I can embrace this now.  I have been known to drop my drawers and share my "elephant testicles"(my inner thighs are a hot mess, heh).  I have also been seen, even in public, sharing my belly parachute.  It's all good!  These scars truly do remind me of how far I have come.  And I believe this also helps others who are either concerned about the changes their body may go through with major weight loss, or are just plain curious about mine. It has helped me accept that this is my body.  And I love my body and all of the wonderful changes it has gone through.
     
     I will be honest and say....YES I will get some reconstructive surgeries to take care of some of this.  But it isn't so I can wear a bikini or be socially beautiful.  I am, however, looking forward to being able to have my body fit into clothing properly.  I can hardly wait to wear a pretty nightie and not have my bewbies dangling BELOW the pretty embellishments made to hold them in.  I also look forward to waking up without one boob that has escaped out an armhole or the other out a neck hole, haha. I'm surprised how much surface area one deflated b cup bewbie can cover in the nocturnal hours.

     So, I sit and wonder if I have the courage to post some of my earlier pictures.  I show them to many.  I'm not sure if I am ready to share with the cyber world though.  Do you, my readers, have any thoughts?